For the many who knew Anthony Conley, he was unforgettable.
“Tony was kind of like a rock star, he was so social,” said Kathy Conley, mom. “He loved to be funny and make people laugh.”
Tony was 21 when he passed away on Friday, November 9, 2018 due to complications of pneumonia. Born with Down Syndrome, he remained a positive light for many.
“He was our little light in a world that could be so dark,” said Joe Conley, dad. “He was always happy and wanted to make sure everybody else was.”
Tony loved encouraging those around him to act out “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes.” A big Packer fan, he enjoyed cheering on the team on game day with his dad and taking trips to Lambeau Field. Planning parties and performing were a few of his favorite things, even filling a role in The Sound of Music in high school. A Special Olympics athlete, Tony most recently took home a 1st place gold medal in the long jump at the 2017 State competition and 1st place in regional basketball shooting and skills this February. He also loved playing video games with his younger brother, Ted.
Upon Tony’s graduation from Marshfield High School this year, his family invited over three hundred to attend his graduation party, which he planned with great enthusiasm. Afterwards, Tony undertook the big task of writing personal responses to everyone who had given him a card.
“A lot of people still have their thank-you letters hanging on their fridges,” said Joe. “He did everyone separately and typed it out on his iPad. We let him write what he wanted.”
Once the notes were all written, Tony asked himself who else he could thank and thought – God. But how could he send Him a letter? Tony called up his priest at St. John the Baptist Catholic Church for a private appointment, during which Father Martin assured him that he would pass along the thank-you.
His parents snapped a photo of the special note in which Tony thanked God for making his graduation special and his grandparents welcome in heaven, ending with, “I really enjoyed my life. I have a good news just for you, is you are a part of my life. I will pray and love, Tony Conley.”
At school, Tony was well-known and attracted his own crowd. “In a way, he was famous,” said Hunter McManus, a 2017 graduate who had the pleasure of meeting Tony in 8th grade. “He quickly became very popular due to his incredible personality and his infinite abundance of love. Tony attracted all sorts of people. I will forever cherish the memories we had at the lunch table and even in the halls of Marshfield High School.”
Hunter was used to being around children with special needs and made easy friends with them after moving to Marshfield from California. “I would see Tony in the halls and often just say hi or see how his day was going,” Hunter said. “Over time, it became a routine for me to walk a specific way just so I could make sure to say hi to Tony, for he was the only person in the school I was not trying to impress, since Tony loved everyone and never placed a judgement.”
Tony could inspire everyone from his hairdresser to his classmates to happily perform his favorite song 15-20 times in a row.
“Anyone who has known Tony automatically associates ‘Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes’ with him,” said Zechariah Kitzhaber, Tony’s friend and respite care worker. “Thanks to Tony, I will always be able to sing and dance to that song better than I can tie my shoes or say my ABC’s.”
“I would see anybody from five 200+ pound lineman, to a whole table full of girls, to kids who never say a single word standing in the middle of the lunchroom with Tony doing ‘Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes,” recalled Hunter.
Tony’s love of performance led him to create well over 200 Youtube videos, especially of Disney impressions. “I can always go back and find dozens of videos of us throughout the years. He was quite the organized director,” said Zechariah. “He always had the whole video planned out in his head beforehand and would tell you if you were doing something wrong, then make you start over and do it right. His creativity and attention to detail always surprised me.
“One special gift that I received from Tony was a CD with songs that he recorded for me during his music therapy classes. He had obviously composed and performed all of the music himself, which made it especially meaningful. My favorite is the song he sings to send me off to college where he tells me to, ‘Party, party, party!’”
This fall, Tony was able to fly first class to meet Youtube star and impressionist Brian Hull in Columbus and even got to do an impromptu video with him.
“If you asked him what he liked about the plane, he would say the snacks,” said Joe. “He couldn’t believe he could raise his hand and get all the snacks he wanted!”
A major Packers fan, on game days Tony could be found passionately cheering on the the football team, or the Wisconsin Badgers. He was even able to meet former linebacker Vince Biegel and walk with a player on the way to training camp after one of the kids lent their bicycle.
“It was really hard for him to decide what to wear, if it was going to be an Aaron Rodgers jersey or Mickey Mouse,” said Joe, “because between Disney and the Packers, those were the two things he loved the most.”
Another special trip Tony took was to Marquette, Michigan to celebrate the 4th of July and view his first fireworks.
“Our hotel was right on the lake, so we had a great view of the fireworks display through the lobby windows, and since we were inside, the noise didn’t bother Tony,” said Zechariah. “I don’t remember the fireworks; I must have been too busy watching the look on Tony’s face. Whenever a really big one would go off, his eyes would open wide, and his mouth would make a perfect little ‘o.’”
The pair took a ride in a bike taxi along the shore of Lake Superior, and Tony began to sing.
“We must have sang ‘Do, a Deer’ and ‘Chitty Bang Bang’ twenty times each! And I’ll never forget walking back from downtown with Tony. It was a long walk, and we weren’t sure if he would make it. He had to sit down and take a break a few times, but step by step, we made it all the way back to the hotel!” said Zechariah.
The most difficult part, however, was a visit to the candy store.
“Once Tony got a look at all the goodies they had, he wanted everything!! I didn’t think we would ever be able to get him out of there, but eventually, we did!”
On a trip to Action City, Tony loved the go-karts and could have ridden them all day just for the joy of it. The ride worker even allowed him to take three turns in a row.
“The look on his face was pure joy for those fifteen minutes. He was having the time of his life!” Zechariah said. “He didn’t have a need for speed, though. For Tony, it wasn’t about getting first or cutting people off. He was just enjoying the ride.”
Tony’s ability to find joy in life no matter the circumstances was contagious and drew in those around him to share a part in it.
“Whenever I was having a rough day, for whatever reason it may have been, I would go talk with Tony for just a few minutes and simply just enjoy my time with him, forget about all the extra stuff going on that’s stressing me out and focus on my few minutes of just pure love and happiness with Tony,” Hunter said. “On some of my darkest days Tony was able to provide me the love and happiness I needed in order to keep going and not give up. I don’t think Tony would ever really understand the amount of impact and value he brought to my life.”
That love was sometimes expressed through Tony’s legendary hugs.
“I don’t think anyone can give a hug like Tony could. He would wrap you up in a tight, warm, embrace,” said Zechariah. “When Tony got you with a bearhug, there was no way of breaking out, not that you would want to; you could always feel the love pouring out of those strong arms.”
“I held myself to a higher standard when Tony was around because I always believed that Tony was a reflection of the way people should aspire to be: Happy and full of love, and just such a kind spirit,” said Hunter. “All this negativity in this world blinds us to only see the bad, and people like Tony were put on this planet to show people the good.”
Though Tony had hardships in his life and underwent various problems with his health, he tackled those hardships with his signature positive attitude that impacted so many.
“It’s a good lesson – everybody serves a purpose in life,” Joe said. “I’m not saying it was always easy, but the rewards were tenfold.”
“Overall, Tony Conley may have left this planet and is sitting right next to God playing ‘Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes’ with him and all the angels, but his legacy and his spirit will live on in his friends, family, and the Marshfield community as a whole,” Hunter said. “If the people in this world were just a little bit more like Tony, it would be a much better place.”
A Mass of Christian Burial will be held at 10:30 a.m. on Saturday, November 17, 2018 at St. John’s Catholic Church, Marshfield, with Rev. Samuel Martin officiating. The burial will take place in St. Mary’s Cemetery, Colby. Visitation will be on Friday from 4-8 p.m. at Rembs Funeral Home and on Saturday from 9:30 a.m. until service time at St. John’s Catholic Church.
Tony is survived by his parents, Joe and Kathy, and brother Ted. He is also survived by his aunts and uncles, Deborah Brey, Sally (Robert) Crane, Gary (Vicki) Brey, Doree (Dave) Hebert, Judine Brey, Debbie (Kevin) Stanton and Vicki Conley (Tom), and several cousins.
He was preceded in death by his grandparents, Dan and Marilyn Brey and Jerry and Beverly Conley, his uncle, Mike Brey and his aunt, Diane Brey.
Condolences may be sent online to www.rembsfh.com
Photos provided by Joe Conley and Zechariah Kitzhaber
Author: News Desk
This piece was posted by our news team! Contact us or submit stories at [email protected].
